HOW TO ATTEND OUR MEETINGS

***OUR WEEKLY READING AND JOURNALING ASSIGNMENTS APPEAR BELOW THIS POST***

Meeting Newcomers,

Welcome! We’re glad you found us.

To attend our meetings, log on to Stepchat.com, click the “Get A Password” link, and complete the free registration process.

When you return to Stepchat.com to attend a meeting after completing the Get A Password step, click the “Log On To Chat” link, then click “Chat Now,” then click “ACA Meetings” to enter our chat room.

Trait Two, Week Two: February 25th, 2026

The Other Laundry List Trait 2: To avoid becoming enmeshed and entangled with other people and losing ourselves in the process, we become rigidly self-sufficient. We disdain the approval of others.

Reading assignment for Trait Two:

Laundry Lists Workbook: Pages 12 and 13.

This week’s study questions are found on pages 15 to 17 of the Laundry Lists Workbook under the heading “Trait 2 Reflections: The Other Laundry List”:

  1. Describe ways you see enmeshment or unhealthy boundaries in your relationships.
  2. Describe ways you see healthy boundaries in your relationships.
  3. Describe ways you might be rigidly self-sufficient.
  4. Do I find myself disdaining approval of others? How do I externally and internally act out my disdain of others? Provide some examples.
  5. What did I learn to do when I was little to take care of myself because no one was taking care of me in this way?
  6. What happened when I was entangled and/or enmeshed with others as a child?
  7. What happens internally when someone tries to get close to me when I’m not ready?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Trait Two, Week One: February 18th, 2026

Laundry List Trait 2: We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.

Reading assignment for Trait Two:

Laundry Lists Workbook: Pages 12 and 13.

This week’s study questions are found on pages 14 and 15 of the Laundry Lists Workbook under the heading “Trait 2 Reflections: The Laundry List”:

  1. As a child, what prompted me to seek approval?
  2. In what ways do I behave more as an approval-seeker; how do I lose my identity in the process?
  3. How did losing my identity help me in my childhood? When and why do I continue to not claim my true identity in my adulthood?
  4. What identity or identities did I focus on as a child? How did that focus help me survive?
  5. If I weren’t raised in a dysfunctional/alcoholic home, what type of identity might I have had?
  6. Describe how your true identity (being valued for who you truly are) has been hidden/suppressed (for example, by being as your caretakers and/or loved ones wanted you to be.) How did this happen in your childhood? How has it been hidden in your adult life?
  7. When you answer questions like this, do you anticipate “what they want to hear” and hope to get it “right”? Have you taken tests or completed forms and filled in the blanks as you “knew” they wanted to hear? Have you answered the questions to “get what you wanted” after the form would be read, perhaps for some service?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Trait One, Week Four: February 11th, 2026

The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List Trait 1: We face and resolve our fear of people and our dread of isolation and stop intimidating others with our power and position.

Reading assignment for the first four weeks: Laundry Lists Workbook: Foreword, pages vii through ix, and Trait One chapter pages 2 through 4.

  This week’s study questions are found on pages 8 and 9 of the Laundry Lists Workbook under the heading “Trait 1 Reflections: The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List”:

1.    How has the ACA program helped me face and resolve my fear of people and dread of isolation?

2. What principles of the ACA program have allowed me to stop intimidating other with my power and position?

3. How do I appropriately act within my power and position without intimidating others?

4. What specific fears of people and authority figures have lessened for me?

5. Are there people who are realistically fearsome? If so, make a list of those people or types of people and why they are on your list.

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Trait One, Week Three: February 4th, 2026

The Flip Side of The Laundry List Trait 1: We move out of isolation and are not unrealistically afraid of other people, even authority figures.

Reading assignment for the first four weeks:       

Laundry Lists Workbook: Foreword, pages vii through ix, and Trait One chapter pages 2 through 4.

This week’s study questions are found on pages 7 and 8 of the Laundry Lists Workbook under the heading “Trait 1 Reflections: The Flip Side of The Laundry List”:

  1. What tools have I used to move out of isolation?  {Moderator’s note: the ACA Tools of Discovery/Recovery include the Steps and Traditions, the Problem and Solution, Meetings, Reading and Writing, the Telephone, Sponsorship, and Service.}
  2. Which ACA Steps have helped me gauge when it was appropriate to be afraid of other people, even authority figures? (Moderator’s note: see https://adultchildren.org/literature/steps/ )
  3. Which people in my life do I consider an authority figure? Can these people’s status change over time?
  4. Since finding ACA, what phases have I gone through in coming out of isolation?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Trait One, Week One: January 21st, 2026

Trait One, Week One: January 21st, 2026

Laundry List Trait 1: We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.

Reading assignment for the first four weeks:       

Laundry Lists Workbook: Foreword, pages vii through ix, and Trait One chapter pages 2 through 4.

Appendix A and B on pages 152 through 154 offer a good review of the concept of dissociation.

This week’s study questions are found on pages 4 and 5 of the Laundry Lists Workbook under the heading “Trait 1 Reflections: The Laundry List”:

  1. When have I been isolated and afraid of people and authority figures?
  2. Where and when has this occurred?
  3. How does my body react when I am in fear?
  4. What do I do to help my body come back to a calm inner state?
  5. Has isolation become almost comfortable? If so, how?
  6. List all the people or types of people who you perceive today as authority figures?
  7. This trait says “we became afraid of people.” Who have you been afraid of in the past and who are you afraid of now? This might be certain people with names or it might be types of people.

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Meeting on Sabbatical Through 2025

Hi everyone,

I realized earlier this week that, with all I have going on in my own life lately, I just don’t have the bandwidth to lead another workbook series at this time. I’m going to take off the upcoming year as a much-needed sabbatical after fifteen years of leading this meeting online, and plan to be back in early 2026 to host the next workbook study.

I’m going to leave this page online while I’m on sabbatical, and will upload the meeting materials for all three workbooks in case anyone needs them during my break. I will also be responding to requests for assistance emailed to me at livinglife4ward@livinglife4wardyahoocom.

Thank you for understanding, and hope to see you online again in 2026!

Stacey W.

Step Twelve and conclusion of the current series: August 21st, 2024

Reading assignment for our final meeting in this step study series:

Yellow workbook, pages 173 to 183 OR BRB pages 279 – 294

Red Book pages 590 and 591, “The Solution” and “The Promises”

Red Book chapter 10, “The Importance of Service in ACA”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Twelve chapter, pages 182-198 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book chapter 11, “ACA Sponsorship – Fellow Travelers” See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

  1. How have you grown spiritually since you began your recovery? How would you describe your spiritual awakening as a result of working the Steps? What daily actions will you take to remain spiritually awake?
  2. How will you carry the message to those who still suffer? What will your 12th Step service look like?
  3. How have you begun to take recovery principles to areas of your life other than your primary relationships? In what areas of your life would you like to experience more healing, growth, and change?
  4. How has your relationship with yourself changed since you began recovery? How do you treat yourself differently now? Have you awakened to the beauty and joy of yourself?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What would change if I viewed service as my goal in every area of my life?

B. In what areas of my life do I need to start practicing these principles? What can I do this week to make a beginning?

C. How am I living the message of the program?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Final Night Review:

Which step study sections went on too long? Which were not long enough?

Which reading and writing assignments really resonated with you, and which left you flat?

Did the Deep Dive questions add anything to your Steps work?

What changes would you like to see to the yellow workbook step study, if any?

Step Eleven, Week Two: August 14th, 2024

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 162-172 OR BRB pages 263 – 278

Red Book chapter 12, “Relapse”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Eleven chapter, pages 168-181 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

The book “Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children” by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook, the Step Eleven worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

  1. What makes you feel most connected to other people and the world around you?
  2. Can you recall any time that your life was headed in the wrong direction? If so, what brought you back?
  3. Has anything you have ever read or otherwise learned changed you in some deep and fundamental way?
  4. If you had only one week to live and unlimited resources, whom would you gather around you, and how would you spend your last week in this life?
  5. What do you hope your obituary will say?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What personal spiritual experiences can I draw on to help me improve my conscious contact with a Higher Power?

B. How do I define the difference between prayer and meditation?

C. Is something blocking me in this Step today? What is it? What Steps can I review to help me feel connected again?

D. What do I need to have the power to carry out my Higher Power’s will for me? Have I asked my Higher Power for that power?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Step Eleven, Week One: August 7th, 2024

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 162-172 OR BRB pages 263 – 278

Red Book chapter 12, “Relapse”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Eleven chapter, pages 168-181 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

The book “Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children” by Earnie Larson and Carol Larson Hegarty. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook, the Step Eleven worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

  1. How would you describe your beliefs about God and a Higher Power to a child?
  2. What are your favorite sources of wisdom and knowledge about healthy values?
  3. Have you begun the discipline of prayer in your life? What does that consist of? What are your feelings and fears about praying, about talking to [your Higher Power?] What time of day works best for prayer? Do you have a favorite place? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
  4. How do you meditate? Do you like meditation books or tapes? Which are your favorites? When is your best time for reading a meditation? Have you experimented with any other forms of meditation? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
  5. What other activities help you relax and get in touch with yourself? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

Deep Dive questions:

A. What do you think is the purpose of Step Eleven?

B. How do you feel about praying? How do you feel about meditating?

C. In what ways have you taken your will back from your Higher Power?

D. Why does this Step focus on your Higher Power’s will for you and not what you personally want?

E. Have you been given what you need? What are some of the things you have received?

© Podenco Press’ 12 Step Workbook